When I was a child in the 1960s the bathing suit for the
mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as
engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a
good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl
with a figure carved from a potato chip.
The mature woman has a choice-she can either go up front
to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt,
coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's
Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department
store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.
What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my
sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the
fitting room.
The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile
strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes
was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a
slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever
yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!
Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit.
It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened
beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have
no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across
her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fit all
right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay
inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom,
and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling
wrap.
As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come
from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain,
'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied
that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried
on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape,
and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin
in a serving ring.
I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged
frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane , pregnant with
triplets and having a rough day.. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.
Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with
a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.
It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My
ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured...........When I
got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become
transparent in water.'
So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water
this year and I'm there too....... I'll be the one in cut off jeans
and a t-shirt!

wowwie...1960?so u r too young else

Always 29

I hope I never have to go shopping for swimming suite

true experience I went swimming @ our beautifull swimming hole the other day



hot hot day it was

after finding our own private area to slip in the water , a young six year old was swimming like a fish having the time of her life impressing her gramma,

I commented to them how well the young swimmer was doing

as I was tryng to ease myself into the cold *******ing water, I heard gramma say sternly to the young child to move out farther away from the rock I thought hmm how strange reconizing the alarm in her voice . at the momment all havoc broke out the child screammed started crying gramma saying to calm down dont worry the child made it out of the water lickity split,,

while gramma was calming the child I was floating on my back half touching the rocky floor as I was about to say what was over there, I seen real quick as I had no time to panic or grab anything My legs tightend up my face locked in a horrifying way which I think helped me cause it was twwisted in such a way i think it would of scared of a vampire, the wicked witch ( i think you get my point)


Trying to be brave before the screaming and tears of fright

there it was swimming across my chest a Snake

it's more afraid of you the Gramma says

I m like to myself this thing aint turning left and it dont look a bit afraid of me at all


talk about heart attack material my daughter seen my horror and came and savd me

what a lovely way to end a swim

Till next time Have a great Day

so glad in a way I can't swim, having to find that perfect bathing suit to fit me sounds a nightmare!.. lol Lovely photo by the way

welm
, i thought i wouldnt be seen dead in one, but i might now, change my mind