1. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like
to interrupt her..
2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding
ring, and suffering.
3. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on
the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
4. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God
created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then,
neither God nor man has rested.
5. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
6. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5
drinks.
7. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on
Grafton Street and said "I haven't eaten anything in four
days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your
willpower."
8. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two
mothers-in-law.
9. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her."
Dad: "That happens in every country, son!"
10. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: WIFE WANTED.
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
11. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once.
12. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy:
"You're lucky, mine's still alive."
13. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get
laundry done for free.
14. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
15. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
16. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too
late."
17. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still paying!"
18. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was "Always.".......

__________________

hey...please,put elso some joke here about husbands

Good one SheDevil
Heres a husband and wife joke

Millionaire Question

• A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."
  The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.
  So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes. The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

-----------------------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
"honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

-----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------
* Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
-----------------------------------------------

-
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------- --

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."..

__________________

gooooood....
most of these I heard about first time...
it suppose to be like that...

lol@manual instruction folder

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much.

She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.

This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you.

We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic.

And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you.

In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...

That one is great!!!
Now I dont feel so blonde anymore

Also something about men, this saying I dont like much:

Our teacher in Logic explained the meanings and the word categorisation with next explaination:

How to categorise MEN - we imagined that it is a human being - it was right.
How to categorise WOMAN - we thought that also a human beeing - it was not correct.
WOMAN is a MEN-s best friend like dog etc....

I think that I would never forget that.

These are great, got me chuckle muscles moving.. lol