VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge
across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person.
If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face
and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark--- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and
upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so
they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side
of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.

I have to print them out and teach them to my parents dogs, because they are just like wooden, dont even bark !!!

I`ll do,like Siku

A lot of humans should learn this rule too!!

lol I will pass them onto me mates dog...he's stupid

My dog was funny, when the ice-cream van came round he'd bark and jump up at the window nearly pulling down me net curtain. When taking him for a walk if he spotted a black bin bag, he'd stalk it, then growl, then gently trotted away as if to say job done!

No more evidence of a dog's stupidity is required when you watch one chasing his own tail!